I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
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so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
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I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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