She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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