Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
