I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
