yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
