I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
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I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
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I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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