No stitches, just platelets and will power
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
