How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
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Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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