i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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