My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
sarcasm needs its own font
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
