i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Randomize
