There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize