Where is the hickey?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
