SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize