it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
