I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
