Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
