just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
