Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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