You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
