i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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