bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
