I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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