so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
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Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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