Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
