Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
