you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
