he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize