I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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