So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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