I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
