Got a toothbrush?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
