My cat gives me a boner
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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