you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
