why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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