he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
