Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
