Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
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I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
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our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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