I must be too annoying 4 u.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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