Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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