...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
