and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
