I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.