When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!