I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
