people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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