Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize