I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
