Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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