What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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