dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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