if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
