oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
