Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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