Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize